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Jumat, 26 November 2010

[S263.Ebook] Download Ebook Viking Raid: A Robert Fairchild Novel, by Matthew McCleery

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Combining a ship finance textbook with a jet setting geopolitical romp, Viking Raid picks up where The Shipping Man left off - on a journey into the famously private world of international shipping tycoons and their financiers.

At the conclusion of The Shipping Man, Robert Fairchild is sipping ros� on the C�te d'Azur with Coco Jacobsen and toasting to the success of their $300 million junk bond offering; six months later the CEO is in the 120-degree engine room of a supertanker discharging two million barrels of Saudi crude oil - afraid for his job and afraid for his life.

Fortunes change quickly in the volatile world of international oil shipping and Fairchild knows that unless he can find another $500 million soon his powerful Norwegian tanker tycoon boss will have little use for him.

When Robert convinces Coco to attempt an Initial Public Offering of Viking Tankers on Wall Street, the desperate American thinks his problems may have been solved - but the former hedge fund manager couldn't be more wrong.

Instead, Fairchild finds himself stuck between an American shale gas wildcatter and The Peoples' Republic of China in their competition for clean energy. Combining swashbuckling shipping adventure with corporate finance derring-do, Viking Raid puts Fairchild back at the table in the highest-stakes casino in the world - with more than just his deal at risk.

Sales Rank: #277910 in eBooks
Published on: 2013-11-30
Released on: 2013-11-30
Format: Kindle eBook

Review
"Viking Raid is a gripping novel about the shipping travails of Robert Fairchild and their surprise ending. It begins where Matthew McCleery's first book, The Shipping Man, left off but you can enjoy this one without having read its predecessor. Seamlessly woven into the plot are keen insights into the arcane worlds of Wall Street and Marine Transport, plus an insider's colorful descriptions of both industries' favorite executive watering holes." - Wilbur L. Ross, Jr., Chairman & CEO, WL Ross & Co.

From the Author
"I am truly grateful to have had the chance to write The Shipping Man and Viking Raid. The process has given me a unique opportunity to think seriously about the business of financing ships from the point of view of different participants - and to consider why the business of shipping, despite its considerable challenges, has been so alluring for so long."

From the Back Cover
Combining a ship finance textbook with a jet setting geopolitical romp, Viking Raid picks up where The Shipping Man left off - on a journey into the famously private world of international shipping tycoons and their financiers.

At the conclusion of The Shipping Man, Robert Fairchild is sipping ros� on the C�te d'Azur with Coco Jacobsen and toasting to the success of their $300 million junk bond offering; six months later the CEO is in the 120-degree engine room of a supertanker discharging two million barrels of Saudi crude oil - afraid for his job and afraid for his life.

Fortunes change quickly in the volatile world of international oil shipping and Fairchild knows that unless he can find another $500 million soon his powerful Norwegian tanker tycoon boss will have little use for him.

When Robert convinces Coco to attempt an Initial Public Offering of Viking Tankers on Wall Street, the desperate American thinks his problems may have been solved - but the former hedge fund manager couldn't be more wrong.

Instead, Fairchild finds himself stuck between an American shale gas wildcatter and The Peoples' Republic of China in their competition for clean energy. Combining swashbuckling shipping adventure with corporate finance derring-do, Viking Raid puts Fairchild back at the table in the highest-stakes casino in the world - with more than just his deal at risk.

Most helpful customer reviews

3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
Fantastic
By John Konrad
Viking Raid is perfect for everyone from ordinary seaman to shipping industry tycoon to someone who just wants to a good weekend read. This riveting international maritime story has incredibly insightful information about shipping finance along the way, and I'm eagerly waiting the possible next installment of the Robert Fairchild series.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Viking Raid - my opinion
By Konstantinos T. Chryssoulis
Rather good book, semi-plausible script and characters (for those in the know of how things are happening in this particular sector). The previous book of the same author was better, so perhaps the next one for the profligate daughter or daughters of the most prominent shipowner in the world (any connection to Mr. John Fredriksen's family might be coincidental) might be better also.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
A great follow up to The Shipping Man
By Alasdair Whyte
Matthew McCleery has cemented his place as the John Grisham of ship finance fiction with the Viking Raid. The book is extremely enjoyable both for industry insiders and people who want to know about the genuinely fascinating shipping business. Really brilliant.

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Kamis, 25 November 2010

[T172.Ebook] Download Ebook The Bounty of Allah: Daily Reflections from the Qur'an and Islamic Tradition, by Aneela Khalid Arshed

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The Bounty of Allah: Daily Reflections from the Qur'an and Islamic Tradition, by Aneela Khalid Arshed

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A meaningful, devotional gift for Muslims, this lovely volume also offers insight into Islamic spiritual life for people of all faiths. Daily readings include a short text from the Koran and one from Sufi or Hadith traditions.

Sales Rank: #508934 in Books
Brand: Brand: The Crossroad Publishing Company
Published on: 2004-01-25
Original language: English
Number of items: 1
Dimensions: 6.50" h x 1.07" w x 4.50" l, .66 pounds
Binding: Paperback
408 pages

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Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
This book is my daily go to. I have ...
By Robina Libron
This book is my daily go to. I have given this book as a gift to my closest friends. However, shortly after I received/purchased the books the pages of my book began to separated from the binder. If this had not occurred my rating would be a 5. My friends have not alerted me of any problems with their books. Hopefully their books are okay.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
A lovely way to start the day
By S. Mansoor
This is a VERY well written collection of Quranic verses and Hadith. I liked this book so much I sent it to several friends as well. When you start the day with a page from this book it helps put things in perspective, which I feel is something we lose all to easily in this fast paced, cut-throat world with which we have surrounded ourselves. I would encourage everyone to buy this book. Although I read it in the morning, this is probably a great way to end the day as well.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Beautiful!
By Abdul-Khalick Tayeb
This book is absolutely beautiful and inspiring! Love reading verses from the HOly Qur'an and then quotes/poetry from the likes of Rumi

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Kamis, 18 November 2010

[S298.Ebook] PDF Ebook African Security and the African Command: Viewpoints on the US Role in AfricaFrom Brand: Kumarian Press

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African Security and the African Command: Viewpoints on the US Role in AfricaFrom Brand: Kumarian Press

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After the end of the Cold War and a failed mission in Somalia, the US decided to wash its hands of major military operations in Africa. Within the past few years, however, strategic interests in the region have grown, based largely on the threat of international terrorist group activities there. In 2007, the Bush Administration created a new military presence in Africa, AFRICOM (United States Africa Command), professed to be based not on occupying military or fixed bases, but rather on capacity building for and collaboration with African security forces.

Some see AFRICOM as the answer to an African security system crippled by a lack of resources, widespread politicization and institutional weakness. Others claim the program is nothing more than a characteristic attempt by the US to secure its own interests in the region without regard to the actual needs of Africans. A variety of viewpoints on the debate, both from the US and Africa, come together in this collection to examine the objectives and activities of AFRICOM. The result provides the reader with a well-rounded picture of longstanding security challenges in Africa and what might be done to address them.

Sales Rank: #1389434 in Books
Brand: Brand: Kumarian Press
Published on: 2011-06
Original language: English
Number of items: 1
Dimensions: .80" h x 5.90" w x 8.90" l, .90 pounds
Binding: Paperback
288 pages

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Used Book in Good Condition

Review
"With 18 academic and practictioner contributors covering 13 chapters, the book provides a wide set of Africa-relevant themes: U.S. interagency imbalances, Al-Qaeda in Africa, private security contractors, small arms proliferation, Chinese inroads and the scramble for the continent's resources, to name just a few. I recommend it to academics, policymakers, and military and interagency professionals with a focus on Africa security, politics and development."

"This volume contains 13 papers debating issues of African security development and the US military's African Command (AFRICOM), which was initiated by the George W. Bush administration in 2007. The papers include papers arguing the value of AFRICOM for African security and development, if offering advice on how certain elements can be better balanced, such as between diplomacy, development, and "defense," as well as a few papers giving voice to the frequently skeptical views of Africans, many of whom believe the US to not be particularly interested in the well-being, as opposed to resources, of Africans. Other topics addressed within the context of these debates are China's role in Africa, energy issues, the role of private contractors in African security policy, so-called "counterterrorism" policy in the Horn of Africa, small-arms proliferation, al-Qaeda "affiliated" groups in Africa, and the Obama administration's possible approach to future AFRICOM policy."

“This book is one of very positive outcomes of the AFRICOM debate; a debate that has raised serious questions about the role of the US military in Africa, the unequal balance among the 'three Ds' (Diplomacy, Defense and Development) and the meaning of 'African security' (military needs versus human needs). This scholarly and easy-to-read collection provides insights into the origins of the Africa Command, the arguments used by parties on both sides of the debate, and the complexities of the ever-changing African security landscape. Best of all, the book offers well-researched policy proposals on how the U.S. Government, including AFRICOM, can work more effectively with African partners in addressing Africa's urgent security needs -- a remarkable book that says it all.”

"Offers a remarkably thorough, scholarly, topical and captivating analysis of America’s military policy and options regarding security issues in Africa. Every imaginable aspect of Africa’s political, economic and social context that helps to explain Africa’s current security weaknesses is subject to intense scrutiny from a multiplicity of perspectives. In-depth dissection of America’s military institutions and agencies involved in African security affairs – and the military role played by the U.S. in Africa to date – is followed by enlightening critiques of America’s current military policies. The book chapters are characterized by thought-provoking, intriguing and creative policy options so that America henceforth plays a constructive role not only in securing political stability but also economic growth in Africa. This study opens a new field of analysis linking American military policy with Africa’s development, and is a must read for anyone interested in U.S. foreign policy, African governance, and global security."

About the Author
Terry Buss is distinguished professor of public policy at the Heinz College of Public Policy and Management at Carnegie Mellon University, Adelaide, Australia.

Louis Picard is Professor in the Division of International Development, Graduate School of Public and International Affairs, University of Pittsburgh.

Joseph Adjaye is Professor of Africana Studies, History and Public and International Affairs and Director of the African Studies Program at the University of Pittsburgh. Professor Adjaye specializes in African and Diasporan affairs, history and cultures. He is a recipient of numerous grants and awards including Fulbright awards and the NEH, and is the author of dozens of articles and several books on Africa and the Caribbean, including the award-winning Diplomacy and Diplomats in 19th Century Asante. Adjaye has given over 400 invited lectures and presentations on campuses and in cities across the US and around the world.

Donald Goldstein is Professor of International Affairs and Interim Director of the Mathew B. Ridgeway Center for International Security in the Graduate School of Public and International Affairs, University of Pittsburgh. His areas of study include military history, public administration, political science, arms control, national interest and national security, theory and practice of international affairs, foreign policy process, international relations, administrative theory. He is the author of many books on the Second World War, Korea and related areas of military history.

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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Meh-typical upper level or graduate readings, except...
By E. M. Van Court
This was a typical collection of articles about politics in Africa for, in my case, graduate school, but could be used in an upper level undergrad course. It has a good range of relatively recent (as of DEC 2015) essays on politics in Africa.

The notable exception was the chapter titled "Small Arms and Big Trouble". The chapter was so broad, vague, ambiguous, and full of tentative or reaching connections as to be a complete waste of time. The author's definition of "small arms"; " everything from revolvers and self-loading pistols... [to] portable anti-tank and anti-aircraft weapons, recoilless rifles, and mortars of less than 100mm caliber" (note that the Russian 82mm mortar is a towed artillery piece, but fits this broad definition). So the author places an antique revolver in the same rubric as a 21st century anti-armor weapon like an 84mm rocket with a high explosive war-head. The author goes on to attribute rising levels of violence in Africa (without quantifying those levels of violence) to the increased availability of small arms (again, without quantifying "availability"). Vague and ill-supported statistics of percentages of arms in different demographics are offered, but this goes back to the bizarre equivalence of home-made muzzle loading arms and Kalashnikov assault rifles. Then the author introduces the issue of explosives, almost as vague as small arms, but completely ignores the Rwandan genocide, were the machete was the weapon of choice and used in the murders of hundreds of thousands.

Other than that, it was pretty thoughtful and well supported.

African politics is a depressing parade of internal corruption coupled with external exploitation. While Africa is an amazingly diverse place, the problems are not, but any rational effort to address those problems will have to be as diverse as the continent.

E.M. Van Court

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Rabu, 10 November 2010

[W126.Ebook] Fee Download The Secrets of My Life, by Caitlyn Jenner

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In this remarkable memoir-written during her pivotal first years of becoming her authentic self-Caitlyn Jenner reflects on her past as she looks to her future.
"Imagine denying your core and soul. Then add to it the most impossible expectations that people have for you because you are the personification of The American Male Athlete."
Bruce Jenner, the celebrated Olympic icon and later the patriarch of one of the most famous families in the world, seemed to be living a dream life of success, fame, and prosperity. But the all-American image and million-dollar smile belied a lifelong struggle with gender dysphoria, and it wasn't until the sensational Diane Sawyer interview that the public mask of Bruce Jenner was finally retired, and through the memorable Vanity Fair piece by Buzz Bissinger, that Caitlyn Jenner was introduced to the world and set free to exist on her own terms. Since then, Caitlyn has undertaken an arduous emotional and physical odyssey to achieve the completeness she always felt was missing.
In THE SECRETS OF MY LIFE, Caitlyn reflects on the inner conflict she experienced growing up in an era of rigidly defined gender identities, and the cruel irony of being hailed by an entire nation as the ultimate symbol of manhood. She recounts her Olympic triumph, her rise to fame, and relates how her sense of frustration and shame grew with the passing years and the lengths to which she had to go to conceal her true self. Caitlyn in turn uncovers the toll that these personal struggles had on her three marriages and, subsequently, the relationships with her children. She also talks candidly about her life in the public eye as a member of the Kardashian clan, what led to her decision to become Caitlyn, and how she, her family, the transgender community, and the rest of the world has since embraced her new life.
Filled with incredibly personal and moving stories of struggle and victory, of anxiety and fear, and, finally, of surrender and acceptance, THE SECRETS OF MY LIFE reveals the real Caitlyn Jenner by tracing her long and eventful journey to becoming herself.

Sales Rank: #159099 in Books
Published on: 2017-04-25
Released on: 2017-04-25
Formats: Audiobook, CD, Unabridged
Original language: English
Number of items: 8
Dimensions: 5.75" h x .75" w x 5.25" l,
Running time: 510 minutes
Binding: Audio CD

Review
"THE SECRETS OF MY LIFE is revelatory for the depth with which Jenner details the staggering challenges of finding her true self, and the repercussions of hiding her gender dysphoria."―USA Today

"THE SECRETS OF MY LIFE...charts her journey from Bruce to Caitlyn with affecting candor: decades of distressful dysphoria as an Olympic champion and reality-TV patriarch, and the excruciating, exhilarating odyssey to her renewed identity in the spotlight."―Vanity Fair

"Painting a life both shallow and deep, painstakingly choreographed and unscripted, Jenner's candid portrait of a self in the remaking is a marvel to behold."―Kirkus

About the Author
Caitlyn Jenner, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, is an American television personality and retired Olympic gold medal-winning decathlete.

Most helpful customer reviews

57 of 63 people found the following review helpful.
I really wanted to love this
By Amazon Customer
Straight female, white, married, Midwest Independent here. I really was rooting for her. From Day 1. I mean, how much courage does it take to do what Caitlyn did? I was not even alive when she won the 78 Olympics but I always knew who she was, even before KUWTK (which I don't watch). I wanted to watch her succeed and show that there is authenticity in living your true self, no matter how you get there.
The thing is: Caitlyn isn't a 21 year old. I get that she never got the experiences of a female youth. I get that she is authentically feels feminine. But there is so much more to being a woman than lipstick and heels. We don't sit around all day and paint our nails and look at fashion magazines. Well, most of us. It's almost like she looks at females and our relationships with one another as a big pillow fight and then we try on each other's clothes. That we aren't much deeper than that.
The book recaps what we already know about her discovery and fierce attempt to hide her self. The sheer struggle is heart breaking. I can't imagine how lonely that is. And this was a time before acceptance, before support groups or internet searches. That is truly magnificent, to know what Bruce was carrying on his shoulders and he still was able to channel that secret into magnificence.
Caitlyn tells us how Kris isolated him from his family but it's not like she held him in a cage. That is where I was the most frustrated. I get there was some control there, but own the fact that you let it happen. What the wives knew, what they didn't, I don't think she is lying. At all. I think she is telling her story. Maybe her truth doesn't jive with someone else's perspective, but that doesn't make it wrong.
The book was well written, although not anything too new or unexpected, and I think too soon in her journey. I really would have liked to read how Cait took missteps and remedied them. Explored her gender a little more.
But I don't give a damn about which make up line she endorses. And I am a very feminine woman:)

5 of 5 people found the following review helpful.
My review
By seuffie
I think the book was interesting and would have liked to hear more about the dynamics within his marriages. A more in depth description of these interactions and conversations. On a personal level, I would expect more empathy in Caitlin's writing given all of the lives left in her wake. Overall it was a good read.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Transformed the way I will forever view gender.
By Lynnibo
Honest, lovely, compelling. It forever changed my view of gender and gender dysphoria. I get it now. Thank you for writing this, lovely Caitlyn.

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Minggu, 07 November 2010

[J499.Ebook] Free PDF Nutrition Almanac, by John D. Kirschmann

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Sales Rank: #3031658 in Books
Published on: 1979-09-01
Original language: English
Number of items: 1
Binding: Hardcover
288 pages

Most helpful customer reviews

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By Amazon Customer
great

3 of 13 people found the following review helpful.
Gave this book away...
By Hope
This book was the most difficulty, unfriendly read for me. It's full of tables and scientific stuff that I couldn't read or refer to easily. I ended up giving it away which is a shame, but what's the point of collecting so much information if it's so unappealing to read and ultimately unreadable? They really need to work on improving this, then again, it's an almanac - perhaps the expectations for a pleasurable read should be dim.

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful.
Nutrition Almanac by Dunne
By Dr. Joseph S. Maresca
This book contains a wealth of nutritional information directed
to the health-conscious consumer. There are specific protocols
pertinent to the back, headaches, depression and a multiplicity
of disease processes and conditions. For instance, back pain
may be managed with Vitamin C, bioflavinoids, Calcium and
Magnesium (Mg. ) Depression may be managed with Dl-Phenlalamine, B-complex, Vitamin C, Iron (Fe) , SAM (e), Folic Acid,
B1, B6 and Vitamin B 12. Licorice, ginger and cayenne may be utilized for depressive states. The aromas "Melissa",
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Garlic, Vitamin C, Calcium and Magnesium also help with bladder
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Kamis, 28 Oktober 2010

[R856.Ebook] Free PDF Battle History of the Imperial Japanese Navy, 1941-45, by Paul S. Dull

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A Battle History of the Imperial Japanese Navy (1941-1945)

Sales Rank: #2320856 in Books
Published on: 1978-03
Ingredients: Example Ingredients
Original language: English
Number of items: 1
Binding: Hardcover
420 pages

Features

A Battle History of the Imperial Japanese Navy (1941-1945)

Most helpful customer reviews

6 of 6 people found the following review helpful.
Extremely impressed with this work, highly recommended.
By cat5fred
There is very little -even after 60 plus years, material on the Imperial Japanese navy written by western authors. The ones I've seen are biased, repeat cliches, or are simply inaccurate. I know now that Mitsuo Fuchida's account of Japan's failure at the battle of Midway is largely questioned, even rejected in Japan but has been the basis for many books in the western world.

Hallelujah, this author does not make mistakes like that. He took the trouble of combing through thousands of microfiched archives taken directly from the Japanese at the end of the war. His knowledge of the Japanese language is definitely a plus as he explains more than once how subtle nuances in translation between Japanese and other languages can alter the meaning of the content. This was evident in the intelligence gathered by the Americans, as the author points out.

The book starts with an explanation on how militarism had dominated Japan's politics and how even Yamamoto risked assassination over his opposition to a war with the USA. You get a flavor on what it was like to be a naval cadet or officer in the pre-war imperial navy. Dull also points out some of the misconceptions and political mistakes that the US government made that may have contributed to Japan's decision to go to war. One of the key points in the book is the statement from Admiral Nagano to none other than the emperor stating that Japan must go to war, even though it is a war she very likely will lose but a nation not willing to fight for her survival is doomed anyway.

Dull also mentions that the Japanese had some knowledge of the US Navy 'rainbow' plan, a plan crafted in case of war against Japan, in that the basic strategy was the island-hoping that later became a reality.

Every major or even medium sized engagement or operation is covered, using the Japanese name for such. For example, the battle for Savo Island is known to the other side as the First Battle of Solomon Islands. The author paints the battles, by phase, extrapolating the Japanese interpretation as well as the opposing one, resulting in the most accurate assessment possible, as each side frequently misjudges the enemy's position and intentions or actions during the heat of combat.

The text is extremely readable, you cannot put this book down. There aren't many photos but they are not missed. Dull's style flows naturally, making his a very pleasant book, and the amount of information given is simply astounding. Book is over 400 pages, but I read it in less than 5 days, it is that good. I'm now on my second pass, discovering new facts that either escaped my grasp or simply forgot. This book is a keeper, and it should form the basis for many future books on the theme.

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Thorough overview of the IJN
By Lower Slower George
Paul Dull's work is shorter than Morison's compendium on the US Navy in WWII, but no less important. Published 30 after the war, it presents a tidy account of the IJN. Research from hundreds of reels of microfilm. Maps/illustrations suffer only from the technology used in 1978and the small size format of the book. Don't expect detailed discussion on doctrine or decisive battle. One can find other works that expand on any of the battles or campaigns.

Best read as an overview of the IJN in WWII. Later works may call some of the book into question, but that is the fate of any book that covers a topic for the first time in history: to suffer the slings and arrows of further study. Ditto Samuel Morrison's compendium on the US Navy in WWII.

0 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Good book on WW2
By George
The book is a good read well worth the price I paid .If you like to read about WW2 navy actions this is a good book for you too read.

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Sabtu, 23 Oktober 2010

[Y252.Ebook] Fee Download The Insanity Defense: The Complete Prose, by Woody Allen

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Comprising the classic bestsellers Getting Even, Without Feathers, and Side Effects, this definitive collection of comic writings is from a man who needs no Introduction. Really–this book has no Introduction.

The Insanity Defense reveals many sides of Woody Allen as he holds forth on the most human of urges (“Why does man kill? He kills for food. And not only for food: frequently there must be a beverage”); reflects on death (“I don’t believe in an afterlife, although I am bringing a change of underwear”); and notes the effect on history wrought by trick chewing gum, the dribble glass, and other novelties. There is also an inspiring story of the futile race to beat Dr. Heimlich to the punch: “The food went down the wrong pipe, and choking occurred. Grasping the mouse firmly by the tail, I snapped it like a small whip, and the morsel of cheese came loose. If we can transfer the procedure to humans, we may have something. Too early to tell.”

All Woody Allen fans will cherish this uproarious treasury–and those who don’t enjoy The Insanity Defense are just plain crazy.

“If you don’t care if you break into helpless whoops of laughter on buses, trains, or wherever you happen to be reading it.”
–Chicago Tribune, on Without Feathers

“Brilliant flights of fancy whose comic detail and inspired silliness are at once dramatic and controlled.”
–The New York Times, on Side Effects

Sales Rank: #233691 in Books
Published on: 2007-06-12
Released on: 2007-06-12
Original language: English
Number of items: 1
Dimensions: 8.00" h x .70" w x 5.20" l, .57 pounds
Binding: Paperback
352 pages

From Booklist
Published simultaneously with Mere Anarchy�(2007), these 40-plus previously published humorous sketches poke fun at Allen's classic targets: New York intellectuals, death, and Mr. Big—he's God, of course.�Projecting personas is Allen's main technique across these stories, many of which�contain�allusions to the 1970s, when most of them were written. You want Studs Terkel? Allen satirizes his Hard Times in "Fine Times." How about Nazi memoirists? Allen gives you the recollections of Hitler's barber. Latin American revolutionaries were on the march, if somewhat ineffectually, in "Viva Vargas!" And if one's laughs come from�satirizing such�literary forms�as the�eulogy, commencement speech, or college course catalog, Allen is your parodist as well. Including mockery of collected works via a faux review of the collected laundry lists of the unjustifiably obscure Metterling, Allen perhaps barbs his own volume, which is the third�time many of these pieces have seen publication. Nevertheless, it's a treasury of risibility for the Allen audience. Taylor, Gilbert
Copyright � American Library Association. All rights reserved

Excerpt. � Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.
The Metterling Lists

Venal & Sons has at last published the long-awaited first volume of Metterling’s laundry lists (The Collected Laundry Lists of Hans Metterling, Vol. I, 437 pp., plus xxxii-page introduction; indexed; $18.75), with an erudite commentary by the noted Metterling scholar Gunther Eisenbud. The decision to publish this work separately, before the completion of the immense four-volume oeuvre, is both welcome and intelligent, for this obdurate and sparkling book will instantly lay to rest the unpleasant rumors that Venal & Sons, having reaped rich rewards from the Metterling novels, play, and notebooks, diaries, and letters, was merely in search of continued profits from the same lode. How wrong the whisperers have been! Indeed, the very first Metterling laundry list

List No. 1

6 prs. shorts

4 undershirts

6 prs. blue socks

4 blue shirts

2 white shirts

6 handkerchiefs

No starch

serves as a perfect, near-total introduction to this troubled genius, known to his contemporaries as the “Prague Weirdo.” The list was dashed off while Metterling was writing Confessions of a Monstrous Cheese, that work of stunning philosophi- cal import in which he proved not only that Kant was wrong about the universe but that he never picked up a check. Metterling’s dislike of starch is typical of the period, and when this particular bundle came back too stiff Metterling became moody and depressed. His landlady, Frau Weiser, reported to friends that “Herr Metterling keeps to his room for days, weeping over the fact that they have starched his shorts.” Of course, Breuer has already pointed out the relation between stiff underwear and Metterling’s constant feeling that he was being whispered about by men with jowls (Metterling: Paranoid-Depressive Psychosis and the Early Lists, Zeiss Press). This theme of a failure to follow instructions appears in Metterling’s only play, Asthma, when Needleman brings the cursed tennis ball to Valhalla by mistake.

The obvious enigma of the second list

List No. 2

7 prs. shorts

5 undershirts

7 prs. black socks

6 blue shirts

6 handkerchiefs

No Starch

is the seven pairs of black socks, since it has been long known that Metterling was deeply fond of blue. Indeed, for years the mention of any other color would send him into a rage, and he once pushed Rilke down into some honey because the poet said he preferred brown-eyed women. According to Anna Freud (“Metterling’s Socks as an Expression of the Phallic Mother,” Journal of Psychoanalysis, Nov., 1935), his sudden shift to the more sombre legwear is related to his unhappiness over the “Bayreuth Incident.” It was there, during the first act of Tristan, that he sneezed, blowing the toupee off one of the opera’s wealthiest patrons. The audience became convulsed, but Wagner defended him with his now classic remark “Everybody sneezes.” At this, Cosima Wagner burst into tears and accused Metterling of sabotaging her husband’s work.

That Metterling had designs on Cosima Wagner is undoubtedly true, and we know he took her hand once in Leipzig and again, four years later, in the Ruhr Valley. In Danzig, he referred to her tibia obliquely during a rainstorm, and she thought it best not to see him again. Returning to his home in a state of exhaustion, Metterling wrote Thoughts of a Chicken, and dedicated the original manuscript to the Wagners. When they used it to prop up the short leg of a kitchen table, Metterling became sullen and switched to dark socks. His housekeeper pleaded with him to retain his beloved blue or at least to try brown, but Metterling cursed her, saying, “Slut! And why not Ar- gyles, eh?”

In the third list

List No. 3

6 handkerchiefs

5 undershirts

8 prs. socks

3 bedsheets

2 pillowcases

linens are mentioned for the first time: Metterling had a great fondness for linens, particularly pillowcases, which he and his sister, as children, used to put over their heads while playing ghosts, until one day he fell into a rock quarry. Metterling liked to sleep on fresh linen, and so do his fictional creations. Horst Wasserman, the impotent locksmith in Filet of Herring, kills for a change of sheets, and Jenny, in The Shepherd’s Finger, is willing to go to bed with Klineman (whom she hates for rubbing butter on her mother) “if it means lying between soft sheets.” It is a tragedy that the laundry never did the linens to Metterling’s satisfaction, but to contend, as Pfaltz has done, that his consternation over it prevented him from finishing Whither Thou Goest, Cretin is absurd. Metterling enjoyed the luxury of sending his sheets out, but he was not dependent on it.

What prevented Metterling from finishing his long-planned book of poetry was an abortive romance, which figures in the “Famous Fourth” list:

List No. 4

7 prs. shorts

6 handkerchiefs

6 undershirts

7 prs. black socks

No Starch

Special One-Day Service

In 1884, Metterling met Lou Andreas-Salom�, and suddenly, we learn, he required that his laundry be done fresh daily. Actually, the two were introduced by Nietzsche, who told Lou that Metterling was either a genius or an idiot and to see if she could guess which. At that time, the special one-day service was becoming quite popular on the Continent, particularly with intellectuals, and the innovation was welcomed by Metterling. For one thing, it was prompt, and Metterling loved promptness. He was always showing up for appointments early—sometimes several days early, so that he would have to be put up in a guest room. Lou also loved fresh shipments of laundry every day. She was like a little child in her joy, often taking Metterling for walks in the woods and there unwrapping the latest bundle. She loved his undershirts and handkerchiefs, but most of all she worshipped his shorts. She wrote Nietzsche that Metterling’s shorts were the most sublime thing she had ever encountered, including Thus Spake Zarathustra. Nietzsche acted like a gentleman about it, but he was always jealous of Metterling’s underwear and told close friends he found it “Hegelian in the extreme.” Lou Salom� and Metterling parted company after the Great Treacle Famine of 1886, and while Metterling forgave Lou, she always said of him that “his mind had hospital corners.”

The fifth list

List No. 5

6 undershirts

6 shorts

6 handkerchiefs

has always puzzled scholars, principally because of the total absence of socks. (Indeed, Thomas Mann, writing years later, became so engrossed with the problem he wrote an entire play about it, The Hosiery of Moses, which he accidentally dropped down a grating.) Why did this literary giant suddenly strike socks from his weekly list? Not, as some scholars say, as a sign of his oncoming madness, although Metterling had by now adopted certain odd behavior traits. For one thing, he believed that he was either being followed or was following somebody. He told close friends of a government plot to steal his chin, and once, on holiday in Jena, he could not say anything but the word “eggplant” for four straight days. Still, these seizures were sporadic and do not account for the missing socks. Nor does his emulation of Kafka, who for a brief period of his life stopped wearing socks, out of guilt. But Eisenbud assures us that Metterling continued to wear socks. He merely stopped sending them to the laundry! And why? Because at this time in his life he acquired a new housekeeper, Frau Milner, who consented to do his socks by hand—a gesture that so moved Metterling that he left the woman his entire fortune, which consisted of a black hat and some tobacco. She also appears as Hilda in his comic allegory, Mother Brandt’s Ichor.

Obviously, Metterling’s personality had begun to fragment by 1894, if we can deduce anything from the sixth list:

List No. 6

25 handkerchiefs

1 undershirt

5 shorts

1 sock

and it is not surprising to learn that it was at this time he entered analysis with Freud. He had met Freud years before in Vienna, when they both attended a production of Oedipus, from which Freud had to be carried out in a cold sweat. Their sessions were stormy, if we are to believe Freud’s notes, and Metterling was hostile. He once threatened to starch Freud’s beard and often said he reminded him of his laundryman. Gradually, Metterling’s unusual relationship with his father came out. (Students of Metterling are already familiar with his father, a petty official who would frequently ridicule Metterling by comparing him to a wurst.) Freud writes of a key dream Metterling described to him:

I am at a dinner party with some friends when suddenly a man walks in with a bowl of soup on a leash. He accuses my underwear of treason, and when a lady defends me her forehead falls off. I find this amusing in the dream, and laugh. Soon everyone is laughing except my laundryman, who seems stern and sits there putting porridge in his ears. My father enters, grabs the lady’s forehead, and runs away with it. He races to a public square, yelling, “At last! At last! A forehead of my own! Now I won’t have to rely on that stupid son of mine.” This depresses me in the dream, and I am seized with an urge to kiss the Burgomaster’s laundry. (Here the patient weeps and forgets the remainder of the dream.)

With insights gained from this dream, Freud was able to help Metterling, and the two became quite friendly outside of analysis, although Freud would never let Metterling get behind him.

In Volume II, it has been announced, Eisenbud will take up Lists 7–25, including the years of Metterling’s “private laundress” and the pathetic misunderstanding with the Chinese on the corner.

Most helpful customer reviews

82 of 90 people found the following review helpful.
Don't buy this book, obtain the originals instead
By Cyril A. Barnert
I had already read Woody Allen's three previous books of essays ("Getting Even", "Without Feathers", and "Side Effects") and found them hilarious. But there is a serious problem in the subtitle of this book "The Complete Prose", even if the implication is meant to be that it is complete IF TAKEN TOGETHER WITH Woody's other 2007 publication, "Mere Anarchy". Despite its subtitle, "Insanity Defense" is NOT A COMPLETE COMPILATION OF THE FIRST THREE BOOKS, including only 46 of the 51 essays. The missing five (which are also not in "Mere Anarchy") are worthwhile and funny. Don't get me wrong--the 46 essays that are included are very good, but it does rankle me that they misleadingly claimed completeness. I recommend skipping "Insanity Defense" and obtaining the three original volumes via used-book sources, to go along with "Mere Anarchy".

0 of 0 people found the following review helpful.
Five Stars
By joann fynke
Good read!

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
Absolutely Brilliant
By New Hasselhoff
I first read the three collections compiled herein about 20 years ago. Then, as now, I found myself sputtering with convulsive laughter as I made my way through. I literally was afraid to read it around other people because I could not control my reaction. I've read a number of works of humor. Nothing has made me laugh out loud like this. The elegance of his language and the beautiful and profound absurdity is unparalleled. Pure gold.

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