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In this easy-to-read, science-based book, parents, caregivers, and adults of all kinds discover how discipline affects children’s development, why intervention should reinforce connection not separation, and why the disciplinary strategies that may have been used on us as children are not the ones that children really need. As a practicing child and family psychologist and advisor to the British Columbia ministry of children and families, Dr. Vanessa has seen it all, and she has navigated hundreds of tough situations with families. Drawing on scientific research and a wealth of clinical experience, she shows you how to put out the fire without dampening your child’s spirits; how to correct their behavior while emphasizing connection; and how to discipline without damage.
- Sales Rank: #79566 in Books
- Brand: Lifetree Media
- Published on: 2016-01-12
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.90" h x .70" w x 5.90" l, .0 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 256 pages
- Lifetree Media
Review
"Every year, I read most of the parenting books that are published in English, and Discipline Without Damage: How To Get Your Kids To Behave Without Messing Them Up, by Dr. Vanessa Lapointe, is one of the five best parenting books that I’ve read in the past five years... I hope that this book makes it onto the short list of every parent. I think it can change the world."
—Dr. Laura Markham, PhD, Founding editor of AhaParenting.com and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids
“In Discipline Without Damage, Dr. Vanessa Lapointe explores the important question of why we discipline rather than just how. We need to question the notion that the only way to raise happy, capable and caring future adults is to punish children when they don’t behave according to our wishes. In fact, by showing that children really need kindness, fairness and a caring, safe environment, Dr. Lapointe has created a trustworthy resource for parents.”
—Maggie Dent, Author of 9 Things: A Back-to Basics Guide to Calm, Common-sense, Connected Parenting Birth
“In this eloquent book, Dr. Lapointe makes a powerful case for disciplining our children without power struggles, manipulation or control. An insightful guide for all parents!”
—Dr. Shefali Tsabary, PhD, Author of the New York Times bestselling book The Conscious Parent
“This book is a must-read for all parents who know what feels right about disciplining their kids, but have been advised to do the opposite. Dr. Lapointe combines scientific theory with her wealth of experience working with children, and gives clear examples of how to put it all into practice. Read this book and see the results in your happy, well-adjusted child.”
—Barbara Fitzgerald M.D. FRCP(C), Developmental pediatrician and Clinical associate professor, University of British Columbia
“I love this book! It’s a rare combination of science-based, practical,
respectful, and effective discipline.”
—Dr. Tina Payne Bryson, PhD, Co-author of the New York Times bestselling books The Whole-Brain Child and No-Drama Discipline
“In Discipline without Damage, Dr. Lapointe shows why communication and connection are so important for our children. And why it is especially important for us adults to discipline ourselves so that we don’t go down the path of disconnection in the name of good behavior. Read this book and discover creative ways to be with your children and respect them for who they are.”
—Vikram Vij, Chef, sommelier, and co-owner of Vij’s group of companies
"I am delighted to see a book that in theory and practice shows parents how to regulate their children's immature behaviors in constructive ways... If when we go to regulate our children's behavior we think, 'Do I want my child to grow up to treat others this way?' we will be much more inclined to use the techniques advocated in this book."
—Dr. Martha H. Pieper, PhD, Author of Smart Love: The Comprehensive Guide to Understanding, Regulating, and Enjoying Your Child
“Dr. Lapointe has given parents, family members and the professionals who work with them a wonderful gift. Discipline Without Damage should be required reading for us all. Written from a deep pool of experience and knowledge, this practical book helps us understand what children need to thrive.”
—Dana Brynelsen, OBC, LLD, Former provincial advisor, Infant Development Program of BC
About the Author
Dr. Vanessa Lapointe is a registered psychologist who has been supporting families and children for 15 years, both in private practice and through her previous work with the BC Ministry of Children and Family Development. She lives in Vancouver.
Dr. Laura Markham is the founding editor of AhaParenting.com and author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids.
Most helpful customer reviews
54 of 56 people found the following review helpful.
As a Psychology PhD & a parent, I struggle with some parenting books. Not this one. Loved it.
By MichelleKH
While I am PhD in the field of child Psychology, I am first and foremost a parent of young children. I own, have read, and have reviewed many books on parenting and child development. However, the parent in me has sighed (ok rolled my eyes) at the occasional parenting book, the professional scientist in me has rejected other parenting books outright, and...for a few other parenting books...the clinician in me has thought "My (parent) clients don't have the time or patience to read this lengthy and verbose, yet fabulous, book."
It was a great experience not to have any of the above reactions. While reading Discipline Without Damage, my reaction was "Finally - someone has managed to intelligently synthesize the science and practicallities all together, in an amusing, accessible fashion," with some subtle twists. This book will appeal to parents interested in intentional and attachment-based parenting, but also parents who utilize limit setting and more structured approaches.
From my research, clinical, and personal perspective, a child's emotional- and self-regulation is critical for their relationships and their future success. Children who can be co-regulated by self-regulated parents in a loving, firm, and secure fashion will grow up to be independent, successful and connected adults (who hopefully are still involved with their parents and healthier relationships across the lifespan). So - perhaps the greatest value of Dr. Lapointe's book ---- it translates what we know as scientists into real scenarios, helpful verbal phrases, and simple actions that parents can take to co-regulate and connect to their children. I confess, some of her suggested parenting expressions "just seem to connect to my children (and husband)'s limbic-emotional brains" better than my own. Equally, it also shares practical strategies for us as parents to self-regulate in challenging parent-child situations.
9 of 9 people found the following review helpful.
A must read for all parents & professionals working with children
By terri-lynne smith
I have worked with children for over 10 years and now have a wee one of my own and have been waiting for a book like this to come out forever. It's filled with 'ah-ha' moments, relatable experiences and lots of powerful messages that can have such a huge impact on the daily challenging moments. Discipline without damage is an essential resource and gift for us all, it definitely has provided me with more confidence and I'm so excited about the impact this book has on so many generations.
14 of 15 people found the following review helpful.
As an Infant Development Consultant, I have had the ...
By Amazon Customer
As an Infant Development Consultant, I have had the privilege of working alongside Dr. Lapointe, attending many of her workshops and I have also sought her support on my own parenting journey. I am always moved by Dr. Lapointe's commitment to children and their "big people". After reading Discipline without Damage, I am once again in awe. Dr. Lapointe not only understands the science behind child development and the importance of connection, she "sees it, feels it, and IS it". I am empowered to continue having connection my number one goal as a parent and professional. I will definitely be adding Discipline Without Damage to my "must have" resources.
By Karen Bollman
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